Just when you think you’ve got things figured out life throws you a curve ball. I’ve been in my graduate program since Summer 2015 at Florida Institute of Technology and I thought I had their format down. That is until I recently began their Stage II coursework for my last year of the grad program. YIKES! I thought I prepared for this… by taking steps to decrease my ABA work load by stepping down from a management position to a therapist position and immediately jumping into it part time with a different agency(with hopes of gaining full time 30 hours). I even took a month break, the calm before the storm if you will…. WOW How I was wrong.
This first month has been a huge adjustment! And I know I loved the term growing pains, especially at every transition in my life from graduating high school, starting undergrad, taking a break from undergrad both, going back to undergrad and finishing my B.A, to starting work full time to finding out my passion of ABA and jumping into the grad program to now transitioning to part time ABA works part time Oily work (essential oils) and Full time Grad School. Just academia alone has so many challenges, twists and turns and adjustments to grow into. This isn’t even including relationships with people both platonic and romantically and all my personal hurdles with dealing with grief and loss of loved ones.
Everything is synchronicity. I truly believe that things happen at the right time and moment- of course we have to be proactive to get to those moments and cannot expect to just sit around and have it come. I have been a spiritual seeker and have taken paths that strayed away from my spiritual practices of praying, meditating and other forms of self care like yoga, journaling, jogging and was distracted by filling my time with this and staying busy. But it is back in full force!
Let me tell you that during all of those “growing pains” it was because my “why” changed! Who I am was changing, I will continue to change and transform. Just as the caterpillar evolves to a butterfly each transition in my life goes through major transformations.
Can I just circle back to synchronicity for a bit? Remember I mentioned my Oily work. Well that in it self is full of personal and spiritual growth with finding my “why”. I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many people who inspire me to do scary sh*t, to be vulnerable to do things that will be challenging to help me grow and thus help my oily business grow. To continue to find those inspiring self help podcasts, books, videos as well as surrounding myself around people who lift me up and challenge me to grow and evolve.
I’d like to be vulnerable with you all reading this for a minute, as vulnerable as I was in last nights class/ group supervision meeting. I broke down in tears in front of my colleagues, my mentor/ professor- I admitted that this was harder than I thought it would be (grad school). That my adjusting to things has been bumpy and some days I want to curl up and hide under a rock. This was real. It was my honest truth. It was full raw emotions-most being released through tears and words. They did not laugh at me or bring me down, no in fact my professor took time to really talk about what IS NOT talked about or explained to many people in grad school. He said that “yes, this will be one of the hardest years of your life and you will feel tired and not sleep enough but you will get through it.” He encouraged us to share about where we were and I am so fortunate that he talked about how in these hard times what will really help us is making those connections with people who get it, who understand what I am going through, who have been there before. Again synchronicity. This is so true, that no matter what part of our lives we are in we need a support system. We need people to lean on. We need to be VULNERABLE and ask for help, to say it’s hard but to also be able to get back up again and say BUT I CAN DO THIS! and to see that people HAVE done this and that people ARE doing this. WOW my mind is blown by all of the synchronicity between what I have learned between my oily tribe and now my aba support system.
My classmate even chimed in about the “why” and how we have to remember “why” we are doing this: How this is bigger than us. That we are here to help people. BOOM Synchronicity AGAIN! I am so blessed to be where I am and to be surrounded by so many different circles of people and communities that lift me up. My “why” will continue to change but right now my “why” is to continue growing and learning in order to help people in the best way possible. Between sharing essentail oils, mindfulness tips, life skills tips, and aba – behavior tips. I am here to serve the people while doing what I love and thus supporting myself and my family.
If any of this resonates with you and you’d like to dialogue and talk more I am here! I am around through email and social media platforms. All you have to do is step outside of your comfort zone and reach out like I did.
Thank you all! for reading this post and hearing me out as I process this wonderful journey!
P.S.
I would like to add before writing this post I took time to wake up early and practice yoga (Yoga with Adriene). I used my oils (Young Living blends Abundance and Awaken- topically and taking 3 deep breaths of it). I am practicing what I want and changing my behaviors to nourish my body, mind and spirit.
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